Marriage is a vocation. The word vocation comes from the Latin vocare, which means “to call.” In other words, marriage is a calling, and our world is in dire need of marriages that live this calling with authenticity, passion and hope.

The advent of social media and the internet have certainly colored the way we interact with others, and perhaps even created insecurity around what we do or don’t do in our marriages. Perhaps many of us search for ways to enrich our marriages and keep the spark alive, drawing inspiration from feeds and photos that have been filtered and posted with meticulously crafted captions.

But what the world really needs to see is the real joy and sacrifice of married life. If there is no resurrection without Good Friday, then there is no spark in marriage without the purifying flame of self-gift that is found whenever we deny ourselves for the good of the other. Authentically speaking about the self-gift required in marriage brings our perspective on marriage out of the clouds and back to reality. 

This vocation isn’t about achieving some false image of perfection; rather, it is a school of understanding and love. And our love should be passionate! We demonstrate passion not only in sexual love, but also whenever we seize the opportunity to make a gift of ourselves for the other. Whether it’s tag-teaming bedtime so you can both share in the quiet after the kids are in bed, picking up a coffee, or running an errand for your spouse, the ordinary moments are made extraordinary through denial of self.

When we live with this kind of authentic self-gift, our marriages will shine like a beacon of hope in the world – a light in the darkness. Loving our spouse well isn’t something we do only for ourselves. It’s something that affects everyone who witnesses our lives.

The Catechism reminds us that the sacrament of matrimony is for the salvation of others. (CCC 1534) In other words, if we love our spouses deeply and totally – if we decide to take this vocation seriously and understand that this grace perfects each spouse – then our marriages can become conduits of sharing the Good News of God’s great love for all humanity. The image the Scriptures use for how God loves humanity, after all, is the love between spouses. St. Paul, for example, instructs husbands to love their wives, “even as Christ loved the Church and handed himself over for her.” (Eph 5:25) In this way, our own marriages serve as an invitation to experience more deeply what God’s love offers each one of us. What an amazing witness of hope for our world today! 

“Loving our spouse well isn’t something we do only for ourselves. It affects everyone who witnesses our lives.”