But it is no secret that the characteristics that attract people to one another can eventually begin to annoy. This is where understanding temperaments can help. When Art became annoyed by Laraine’s impulsivity, her seemingly insatiable appetite for adventure and her need to talk, he had to recall that these are aspects of her God-given temperament. When Laraine became exasperated by Art’s pessimism and reticence, she had to remind herself that he was a slow-responding, introverted phlegmatic – and not to say to him, “What a stick-in-the-mud!”

In a nutshell, here are the four “classic” temperaments:

The choleric

The choleric is your classic leader: strong-willed, decisive and goal-oriented. Their reactions are quick, intense and long-lived, resulting in a tendency to take charge – even when they aren’t experts in the area. They believe their confidence and energy will bring them to their goal. They are sometimes accused of being stubborn, argumentative and un-empathetic – think great military leaders!

The phlegmatic

"What a nice guy!” is what you often hear about phlegmatics. Classic peacemakers, they are slow to react, thoughtful and even-keeled. Phlegmatics are diplomatic and often use their dry sense of humor to diffuse conflict. They would rather not take charge but prefer to be team players. Nonetheless, when encouraged, they make the best leaders. Their weakness, however, is that they absolutely abhor and tend to avoid interpersonal conflict and can be a little too complacent with the status quo.

The sanguine

Ah, the sanguine: the classic life of the party! Enthusiastic, energetic, optimistic, generous and eager to please (sometimes too much!), sanguines enjoy many friends, lots of activities and new adventures. Their reactions are quick and strong, but short-lived. Like butterflies flitting from flower to flower, their initial enthusiasm quickly fades, and they can be forgetful and have trouble with perseverance.

The melancholic

Melancholics, despite reacting slowly, have deep and intense emotions; they are often the most sensitive, artistic, detail-oriented and thoughtful people in the room. They value noble ideals: truth, beauty, justice and goodness, yet they often see everything falling short of their standards. They can be perfectionistic, critical and rather pessimistic worriers. When you need the details to be accurate and exact, you want melancholics on your team!

As you can tell, each temperament has its own strengths and weaknesses; the challenge is to identify those areas that need work, learn new skills that enhance our natural strengths and grow in virtue.

In our next column, we will take a closer look at each temperament and how all of this plays out in the sacrament of marriage.