Sometimes it feels as though there’s never a good way to give constructive feedback. “Compliment sandwiches” aren’t that appetizing, and often people can’t concentrate on the positive build-up when they know there is a “do differently” coming. Yet feedback –  when delivered well – is a gift. Below are three ways to help share opportunities for growth in the best way.

1. Plan for feedback in advance. 

Schedule a debrief before the project or event even takes place. Build an expectation for discussion before things go well or poorly so that everyone will be more prepared and engaged and won’t feel caught off guard. Creating a strong culture of feedback ensures that every big project involves dedicated time to offer it as a standard operating procedure.

2. Invite the person to lead the conversation. 

Most people will be harder on themselves than we might be, so this gives them the opportunity to assume ownership and take time for self-reflection before receiving yours. Provide a template, sample meeting agenda or suggested prompts for consideration. This often enables your feedback to be a continuation of their own discovery, making the conversation one of accompaniment and connection rather than confrontation.

3. Frame feedback for the future. 

Whether your feedback is affirming or challenging, it should always be framed as an opportunity for future action. Avoid phrases such as, “I wish you would have” or “Why didn’t you …?” No one can go back to fix past actions, but we can all move forward. After your observations of what was, lead with comments such as, “You have a great opportunity next time to …” or “Incorporating this will really help as we look toward …”
 

Effectively offering and receiving feedback as a gift is an essential component of healthy organizational culture. As leaders, it’s not only what we say that matters – but when and how we say it, helping those around us discover not just what they could have done differently, but who they are capable of becoming. 
 

Dan Cellucci is the CEO of the Catholic Leadership Institute.